This leaked tour rider for Steve Martin seems just about right. My favorite part:

DRESSING ROOMS
Beginning two (2) hours prior to performance, Steve's dressing room must have a new trophy delivered every ten (10) minutes. Suggested trophies include "Most Beloved", "Best Show of the Year", "Best Musician." Creativity encouraged (Steve starting to get bored with these).

Be sure to read the whole thing; lots of gems throughout.

Thanks to Matt for the heads up.